Blogging is dead, basically. So why am I here?
So it turns out I haven’t posted here for half a year. The last post is dated July. This partly because I neglected to get Internet in the bedsit I was living in for that period (a mistake I won’t make again) but also because I wasn’t in a communicative place due to far too much personal life and general exhaustion.
Also, I was actually pretty busy really. August I went to Edinburgh, which was amazing. I hadn’t had a holiday in years, and it was great to have one where I could perform every day, then go find something cool to watch. When I was at the Fringe I had the sense I was somewhere I belonged, which is rare for me, and I’ll probably spend the year chasing that feeling. I am still broke from it, though.
I came straight back to work on directing Carmen, which was an odd project that I didn’t talk about much in the run-up to it. This is because there was a real danger it was going to be shit. However, it played to three packed houses and was well received and was actually fairly good. I learnt a lot, but have sadly been spoiled by having a full orchestra and now I want one in everything I do.
I then rolled straight into my first acting in years, as a crosscast Mistress in The Cagebirds. I didn’t put as much in as I planned to, but I think what I did came off well. I mainly did it in order to scratch my creative itch without being the project manager again, because I had burnt out on that.
The burnout took me to the end of the year. I did start a job in this same time period, so I did have an excuse to keep my personal time for doing not much. But now, it’s 2015, and I’m back on the horse.
I have various plans and drafts and what have you, as do all writers. What I actually need, though, is a routine. I need to commit to working every day, moving forward on whatever, and trust that I’ll get somewhere eventually. I need to read more and write more and blog more and move more and eat better and become more of a human being again. I’ve felt myself getting stupider after coming out of the uni environment, so I need to make the brain healthy again.
The big questions of who I am and where I want to be are hanging over me this year. But mostly, I need to start moving forward again.